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A Female Journalist, Who Wishes To Remain Anonymous, Describes Her Experiences Using A Mechanical Sex Machine - The Love Machine From Topco
Most people who own heavy-duty fucking machines like the Sybian aren't likely to be concerned with discretion when company comes over. Then again, they don't live within just-dropping-by distance of their parents in a New York apartment in which it is difficult to disguise the intended purpose of large machines that exist outside of the kitchen and have dildos poking out of them.
It was in this unenviable position I found myself this past weekend, but after some quick piling of laundry on top of my sex machine everything was under control. You see, the Topco Love Machine is small enough to conceal with dirty laundry camouflage - but were it to be spotted, everyone in the room would know that I like to ride the electronic pony.
The Love Machine is a dashing purple, and it comes with several different kinds of attachments which are suitable for female and male use : three vibrators, two dildos and a Fleshlight-inspired attachment for guys that I like to call the mitten of love, because that's basically what it looks like.
I am the kind of girl who does not like to read the directions, but I couldn't figure out the contraption on my own, so I had to. Being forced to read directions was worth it though, because that's how I found out that the Love Machine is guaranteed in the case of mechanical failure, but not in the case of an act of God. Just thinking about fucking machines and acts of God gets me a little excited and ever so slightly damp.
So how about the fucking powers of the Love Machine? Does the Love Machine live up to Topco’s claim that it is better than a man when it comes to the humping and pumping? I'm probably more willing to fetishize and be wooed by technology than most women, but there's something a little freaky about the Love Machine, maybe because of the chief attribute of all fucking machines: it just doesn't stop thrusting.
While there's something kind of charming about a flesh and blood sex partner who is determined to get the job done, but who needs to get aroused and who goes limp as soon as he has ejaculated, this charm is greatly diminished when it is encapsulated in machine form. The Love Machine's makers are aware of this potential for creepiness, and so they have built in teasing pauses to the Love Machine's operation, which turns out to be highly erotic. In fact, the Love Machine is kind of soothing with its rhythmic pumping and its operational hum just after you have orgasmed for the second or third time. It is also mesmerizing. In that hypnotized-by-a-big-ass-butter-churner kind of way.
So what about the $64,000 question of all sex toys: was the Topco Love Machine genuinely orgasm-producing and where these orgasms better than the ones experienced with a dildo or vibrator - or a lover with a real penis? I am a very determined seeker-of-orgasm, so I would say that I came better than I had ever done before in my life thanks the Love Machine's inexhaustible ministrations.